Seattle

Back in January we made a quick weekend trip to Seattle.  The main purpose was attend my brother's wedding (Hooray for Justin and Laurel!!).  Day one:  Sight seeing in downtown Seattle...

Day two:  The wedding...

North Car-o-line -ah -ah-ah

So far North Carolina is pretty great.

We arrived in North Carolina on December 21.  Unfortunately, our stuff didn't arrive until several weeks later.  So we camped out in our new dining room with an air mattress, and a couple suit cases worth of belongings.

After some mediocre Chinese food on Christmas day (and finding out that our stuff wouldn't arrive for at least another week) we decided a trip to Illinois was just what we needed.

Eventually our stuff arrived safe and sound.  Unloading and unpacking was quite a process (why do we have so much stuff)?!

Some of our favorite things about the area so far are...

downtown Raleigh,

 

a pretty sweet children's museum,

delicious food (particularly the chicken and waffles at Beasley's Chicken and Honey),

this awesome state park a mere 5 minutes from our apartment,

and the weather. 

We enjoyed having days warm enough for bike rides in the winter...

but also enjoyed some snowy days as well. 

We sound some cool things to do on weekends like...

A robot competition,

and a mini maker fair.

 Oh, and there are lots of fire flies.

I think we're going to like it here.

Still

Three years ago today our little Levi was stillborn.  While my heart has healed considerably since then, I continue to feel the ache of that loss.

Photo by North Photography who volunteers as a part of Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

I appreciate this story, as it is similar, in many ways, to my experience.  She expresses much of what makes stillbirth so painful...

 "We spent about four hours with Alexander. I put my tears on his face, because I figured he’s absorbing a piece of me. It’s a very unique loss. You’ve never had the chance to see the baby laugh, cry or smile. All those what-ifs never get answered. His life was only defined by what he experienced through me."  Eleni Michailidis

 I will never forget how I felt being wheeled out of the hospital.  My body was sore.  My arms were empty.  My heart was broken.

Yes, it is painful still.  Sometimes overwhelmingly so.  I can't help but think about what this picture would look like with a 3 year old Levi in it.  But I also feel so grateful for all of the beautiful things in my life.  In many ways my life feels richer, more vibrant.  I'd like to think that this process of loss, pain, grief and healing is stretching my heart, giving it a greater capacity to hold not only the pain, but gratitude, love, compassion, and joy as well. (1)

(1) http://www.onbeing.org/blog/heartbreak-violence-and-hope-for-new-life/7476